Anton Lavey, "The Satanic Bible" (1969)

Book finished, but notes not written yet.
Consider this a placeholder.

Joan Didion, "The Year of Magical Thinking" (2006)

Didion explores a critical year in her life in its immediate aftermath. Her daughter experiences a near-fatal medical condition. Her husband dies at home in front of her. In short, her world stops, lets her off, and then proceeds to drive over a cliff. She is left standing at the top, watching, and wondering what the hell happened.

Grief is a funny thing, perhaps like addiction. It's difficult to explain to those who haven't been there, and to them, any description makes the experience seem silly and indulgent. Any description seems incomplete, though, inadequate to the strength of the emotions felt and not felt.

Didion's book is both frustrating and touching. I chalk this up to the idea that it was written less for her audience than for herself. It is almost like a diary… like having a coffee with someone who is grieving, and who is thinking out loud. Her writing is compelling. Her thinking is circular, repetitive, and obsessive. She second-guesses her decision, plays scenarios (important and innocuous) over and over through her thoughts, and members and re-members her memories, attempting to construct a clear, linear, comprehensible narrative that explains what she is feeling.

Jim Murdoch offers a very insightful review.

Some noteworthy quotations:
- Chapter 5: "one more case of maintaining a fixed focus on the clear blue sky from which the plane fell…"
I just really like this image. It captures grief so well.

- Chapter 15: "John would wait until I came uptown at eleven or so to have dinner with me. We would walk to Coco Pazzo on those hot July nights and split an order of pasta and a salad at one of the little unreserved tables in the bar. I do not think we ever discussed the convention during these late dinners. On the Sunday afternoon before it began I had talked him into going uptown with me to a Louis Farrakhan event that never materialized, and between the improvisational nature of the scheduling and the walk back downtown from 125th Street his tolerance for the 1992 Democratic convention was pretty much exhausted. Still. He waited every night to eat with me. I thought about all this on the Tower C escalator and suddenly it occurred to me: I had spent a minute or two on this escalator thinking about the November night in 2003 before we flew to Paris and about those July nights in 1992 when we would eat late at Coco Pazzo and about the afternoon we had stood around 125th Street waiting for the Louis Farrakhan event that never happened."
This section reminds me of Gertrude Stein's 'Making of Americans'. There's something about the elliptical narrative, the fruitless repetition that is observed but unstoppable which resides somewhere between obsession and compulsion which is fascinating.

- Chapter 22: "if we are to live ourselves there comes a point at which we must relinquish the dead, let them go, keep them dead."
This suggestion resonates, but is difficult to reconcile with my interest in memorialization, public history, and myth-making.

Jarrid Wilson, "Jesus Swagger" (2014)

Wilson offers similar advice to that of many evangelists before him: live a more rigourous Christian faith, grounded in the Bible as the word of God. So… what makes his work unique, more effective, more compelling? Firstly, of course, he represents the 'new wave' of youthful Christian thinkers that embrace an appearance and demeanour that does not smack of one's "Sunday best". It should be noted, however, that many of these youthful evangelists also carry themselves with a youthful idealism and absolutism that can be off-putting and alienating for those of us who are a (little) older and a little more tired or jaded with the world.

Secondly, Wilson takes several trends within contemporary, 'new' Christianity to task. He chides many of his peers for not approaching their faith, or more accurately - their God - with more reverence. So, for instance, he critiques the idea of popularizing slogans such as 'Jesus is my homeboy' as diminishing awe and respect for a God that both loves and rules. This is a position that is not without problems (see the Klopping review linked below).

Thirdly, Wilson also chides some components within the evangelical movement who exhibit hateful, intolerant, aggressive means of attacking those whose actions and beliefs they oppose. Here I am thinking about groups such as the Westboro Baptist Church (although I don't recall that Wilson actually mentions the church by name, he does refer to persons who picket the funerals of gay persons, which Westboro is well-known for). He advocates instead that Christians who live their faith must strive to offer the same kind of Christ-like loving grace described in the Bible, and to find means to open lines of communication with non-Christians as a more effective means of leading by example rather than by proselytizing through fear.

Amanda Pettit Klopping offers some astute criticism of the book, over at her blog A Large Cup of Tea.

Some notes from the book:
1. Poser Christianity
James 2:19–20 states, “You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless?”

5. Jesus Isn’t Hiring Part-Time Disciples
Galatians 2:20 reads, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me” (NASB). There is vital truth to what this verse states. It is no longer you who lives, but Christ who lives in you. Meaning, it’s no longer about your agenda, your desires, and your needs. If you call yourself a Christian, your agenda is now filled with an all-consuming calling from Christ himself.

Don’t let culture be what changes your relationship with God. Do feel free to let your relationship with God help you change and contribute positively to culture.

6. Be the Change
...remember, God is with you through all. The right time to do the right thing is right now. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).

7. I Got 99 Problems But the Holy Spirit Ain’t One
...why do so many ignore him? I think people are afraid. We are afraid of what might happen if we allow his power into our lives—we’re afraid of what might have to change, or what we might lose, not thinking of what we might gain. Many of us put our fear of the unknown in front of the power and potential of the Holy Spirit. It’s sad to think that we could be turning from the Spirit’s prompting due to a wall of fear. Fear is a liar, and the Spirit brings us the truth (John 16:13).

Tim Castleman, "8 Hour Bestseller" (2015)

Subtitle: "How to Write Your Bestselling Book in Record Time."

I will write notes someday. For now, consider these:
1. Wouldn't completing a best-selling book in record time make you a little suspicious as an author?
2. Is this the question I'm really trying to answer, or should I be asking: "How can I write my best book in record time?" Perhaps, "how can I write the best book possible without wasting time?"


My short-term summary, however, is that the strategies laid out here could likely be conceived by most people with some critical skills and a cup of coffee. The book serves a purpose, I suppose, but reads more as proof of the author's theory that a profitable self-published and self-marketed digital book doesn't have to be particularly informative or insightful, as long as it has a concerted and well-crafted marketing campaign.

Norah Vincent, "Voluntary Madness" (2008)

Vincent undertook to understand the treatment of mental illness by 'immersing' herself in three different American treatment centres: one a public urban institution, one a private rural institution, and one a private 'progressive' institution in the US mid-west. Not purely a 'tourist' or 'poseur', Vincent believes that she may indeed have some form of mental illness, but her problems are not so debilitating as to render her incapable of researching and writing a book.

Her narrative of time spent in these institutions is believable. She captures details of scenery and thought that those who have spent time in psychiatric wards and asylums, particularly as patients, will recognize. In this regard, the work provides excellent insight, something like the affirmation of experiential commonality that an addict finds in a twelve-step program. She offers the kind of insights that "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" can't, and yet affirms in many respects that the situation in America's psychiatric institutions has not greatly improved or even changed.

Her desire to understand mental illness, to document its treatment and challenge some of the premises under which treatment is premised, was not convincing, however. Her capacity to stand back (or willingness to believe that she was) from her own mental illness, and to achieve some kind of overarching or privileged critical position, is unconvincing. The very reality that someone was putting up thousands of dollars for her to enter and stay in these institutions separates her experience from that of many people who find themselves in them - particularly when entry is not voluntary, but as incarceration by court order. I would expect that forced membership in the asylum not only alters the experience, it alters the perception of the experience. While Vincent is critical of many of her peers in the 'system', she particularly directs attention to persons incarcerated in the final institution (the nicest of the three) who do not seem to 'want to get better'. Of course they don't want to get better! They were sent there by court order. A system for caring for mental patients based on force by its very nature is likely going to be much different than one based on a preventative healthcare model.

You can read a short excerpt at Smith Magazine.

The Guardian offers a very prescient review.

Billy Graham, "Nearing Home" (2013)

Penned by one of the world's best-known Christian evangelists, now 93-years old, Graham's short, simple, reflection on coming to the end of one's life is subtitled "Faith, Life, and Finishing Well." It is a book that likely resonates with the large American (and Canadian) population of relatively well-off, educated, economically secure people who have entered retirement, and are now facing questions regarding meaning, purpose, and reward.

In this respect, I don't feel as if I am the intended audience for Graham's book. As someone with aging parents, however, the book has a different application for me. It has helped me to feel a greater sense of knowledge about issues they might be thinking about, from their perspective. It also makes me feel a little grief at some of the choices that they have made.

Graham's advice is based in and revolves around his Protestant, evangelical, Christianity. If you know Graham, there's no surprise there. Graham is one of the best-known American evangelists. He has enjoyed the confidence of Presidents, and a widespread media presence. Unlike many of his peers over the last few decades (such as Jim Bakker or Oral Roberts), he has largely avoided embarrassing revelations of definitely unChristian behaviour. For a non-Christian, the frequent quoting of scripture in his book is a little off-putting. His text reads a little like (and is) an extended conversation with a devout but kindly evangelical Christian grandfather.

While some of Graham's advice seems simple and obvious (e.g., have a plan established for how you want your assets distributed, etc.), some is more thought-provoking. He spends time discussing the responsibilities of seniors; the role they can plan in leadership, provision of wisdom, history, and as role models, as well as leaders in faith. Cast as a difference from the idea of retirement as a period of indulgence, pleasure, and leisure, placing a mantle of religious duty and social opportunity on the shoulders of the growing numbers of seniors is a provocative, productive initiative. To give credit where it's due, Graham's book also allows sensitive readers to ask themselves whether they are using their own lives - whatever age they might be - as well as possible, not only for their own ends, but for those they love, their community, and if they have it, for the purposes of their faith.

Here's an excerpt.

James Fitzgerald, "What Disturbs Our Blood" (2010)

The genealogical tale as Shakespearean-scale tragic suspense novel. A truly alternative history with certain commonalities to Gordon Sheppard's "Ha!" Suicide, psychotherapy, the wisdom of the medical establishment meets the inscrutable dark dogs of depression.

Fitzgerald's family history is intimately connected to medical innovation in Canada. His predecessors were instrumental in developing public vaccination programs and advancing allergy research. His family tree also exhibits an alarming prevalence of mental health problems, particularly depression and suicidal ideation. Fitzgerald narrates his investigation of his own mental health issues, as he attempts to locate himself within his family history, and his predecessors' dogmatic commitment to work, attempts to manage familial dysfunction, and coping with anxiety and insecurity.

Lauren B. Davis, "The Empty Room" (2013)

This is a fascinating consideration of adult female alcoholism.

Davis writes writes with the sympathetic and yet firm knowledge of addicted thinking gained during her own time as an alcoholic. With decades of sobriety, this book is a reflection on what her life might have been like had she not found sobriety. It is insightful. It is frightening. It is humble.

Addicts will find this book particularly compelling, as they are sure to see elements of their own experience described. They will likely see their own flawed thinking, their own rationalizing, their own desires and shortcomings. They will see parallels for the depths they have sunk to and likely kept secret, if they could. They might also read some of the same fears they have felt about admitting to their own addiction, and starting a program of recovery.

My only complaint is that this book ends too quickly. I rarely find fiction to be "page turning." Perhaps I had a particular and special interest in this book, but I finished it in about 24 hours.

Jon Atack, "A Piece of Blue Sky: Scientology, Dianetics and L. Ron Hubbard Exposed" (pub. 1990, rev. 2013)

After reading Jenna Miscavige Hill's memoir of her time spent as an adherent of Scientology, I wanted to know more about the 'theological' and administrative details of the organization. (See my earlier review of Hill's book here.)

Atack's book is well-regarded, and was written long before the recent spate of bad publicity for Scientology that followed the high-profile departures of ex-pat Canadian turned Hollywood director, Paul Haggis, followed by television actress Leah Rimini. Perhaps worst of all for Scientology was/is the split between long-time Scientologist and public advocate Tom Cruise and his third wife, allegedly over concerns related to how to incorporate Scientological principles into their family life.

Keeping in mind that it was not written by a professional author or journalist, A Piece of Blue Sky does an impressive job in difficult conditions, of raising some fundamental doubts regarding many of the claims offered by the Church of Scientology about its own history, practices, and values. Unlike Hill's book, Atack's deals less with personal experiences than it does try to use Scientology's documents, supplemented by interview and correspondence materials with other formerly high-ranking Scientologists, as well as court records produced from relevant cases concerned with Scientology, to establish an institutional timeline and expose of the Church's structure, operational values, and 'theology'. (I use theology in marks due to the fact that Scientology does not worship a higher power, as do many other religions, but believes that aspects of this higher power need to be 'freed' from within ourselves.)

Generally speaking, Atack's book is excellent. It certainly could benefit from the help of a good editor, but the impressive work Atack has done in providing an initial exposure of Scientology is admirable and informative.

Jenna Miscavige Hill, "Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology..." (2013)

The full title of this book is "Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape." It is co-authored with Lisa Pulitzer.

Although Hill's book has received voluminous attention, likely reflecting current high-profile scandals in the 'Church', it is certainly nowhere near the best-written or most informative text available regarding Scientology. Written by someone who was 'bred into' the organization (by which I mean she was a member from a young age, with a long-family tradition of belonging to Scientology) her perspective is derived from her own experiences. She makes no to little effort to contextualize her observations and understandings outside of her own life. This is understandable, and does not come as a surprise given the book's title.

What I found most disappointing in Beyond Belief is that it is exactly what it claims to be. The recollected childhood memories of someone who grew up in a repressive, alienating environment based on confusing, illogical precepts. There is little deeper reflection on the philosophical values of the experience, analysis of the events, or an effort to establish a more profound message than 'this organization did bad things to me.' I have no quibble with Hill's right (and perhaps need) to publicize these reflections. I'm just not sure what I might take away from reading them other than to be grateful that I didn't share her experience.

Gabor Mate, "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" (2008)

Subtitled, "Close Encounters with Addiction." Winner of the 2009 Hubert Evans Non-Fiction Prize.

Mate is the child of Jewish, East European immigrants, who works as a doctor for street-people, addicts, and other marginalized persons living in Vancouver's notorious East Side. The Realm of Hungry Ghosts differs from other books of its kind for two reasons: 1) Mate's professional experience as a doctor is compelling, but 2) his experience as an addict has given him unique insights into the struggles of his patients.

His book lays out a challenging, compelling, and clearly-written thesis regarding the causes of addiction, and thus offers a new understanding of how addiction works and thus what types of treatment addicts might best respond to. Essentially, Mate suggests that addiction stems in large part from thinking patterns developed in our very young, formative years, and that these thinking patterns significantly help shape the ways our brains come to process information.

Part of Mate's book outlines the physiology of the brain - how serotonin and similar chemicals are used in the brain to convey information and trigger responses - and how experiences and drugs can change this physiology. The other part discusses how personal factors such as life experiences, particularly in childhood, can affect brain chemistry and brain functioning. The combination of these two factors leads Mate to explore concepts such as neural plasticity, and to recommend treatment paths such as cognitive behaviour therapy (although he doesn't actually name this approach, and his programmatic recommendations differ somewhat from the CBT practices I've read about).

For addicts, one of the most useful sections of Mate's book will be a chapter entitled "The Four Steps, Plus One" (pgs. 353-361 of the paperback edition). Mate is not a twelve-stepper. While he has positive things to say about this approach, he has not worked one of those programs (such as AA, etc.) himself. He offers, however, a program developed by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, at UCLA's School of Medicine, for helping addicts interrupt what Schwartz refers to as "brain lock"; those unthinking responses and actions that help to maintain addictive habits.

For the sake of you, my reader, the four steps are briefly summarized here:
1) Re-label:
Recognize that what seems to be an imperative, desperate 'need', is actually a temporary, false feeling. This step might be understood as 'apply conscious awareness'.

2) Re-attribute:
Recognize that the message you identified in Step One is a flawed, or false product produced by an addicted mind in situations when that addiction is triggered. It is, in short, a symptom of an illness, and should not be mistaken as - or given the power of - anything more.

3) Re-focus:
Recognize that the message sent by the addicted mind is a temporary phenomenon. It will pass, and is more likely to pass without being acted on if the addict can work to put some time between recognizing the message and choosing to act on it. The key here is to "teach your brain," as Mate says, "that it doesn't have to obey the addictive call." (359).

4) Re-value:
This step involves recognizing the cost and reward of acting on the ideas produced by the addicted mind. Addicts have come to associate false value/reward to seeking and achieving the substance of their addiction. The key here is not to establish some kind of blame or guilt, it is to attempt - as realistically and critically as possible - a sense of what the addictive impulse is actually generating in terms of rewards and benefits, and what the costs of trying to achieve the rewards and benefits the addictive impulse actually result in (NOT the ones the addict believes they might produce).

5) Re-create:
The fifth step is one introduced by Mate. It is a particularly useful and intriguing one. After the 'corrective' steps in understanding identified above, Mate suggests the addicted person undertake to identify what their goals are, what rewards and benefits they seek in their life, and consider alternate methods and activities to pursue them. If, for instance, taking hard drugs does not stop painful memories of childhood abuse, perhaps writing or drawing might help to put these memories in a more manageable perspective. This step offers the addict not only negative or 'corrective' actions, but the ability to envision an 'escape hatch' that offers hope for the future.


More about the book can be found on Dr. Mate's website. There you can also read the 'Introduction' and 'Chapter One - The Only Home He's Ever Had.'